These email updates have sort of turned into a blog post on what’s been going on with Lori’s breast cancer. I’ve even thought that maybe it would be better to find a website where I could post these updates so it would be easier to follow. If anyone knows how to do this, I’d love to hear from you. I’ve never done it before. We are so appreciative of everyone’s thoughts, prayers and support. It truly has made this process easier. Lori has healed very well from the mastectomy and is essentially back to normal activity. She is handling the whole process amazingly well and even injecting some humor. I think humor is a Wolf family trait and it gives me confidence that she is going to do well. We are also happy to report that our daughter Rachel is pregnant and we found last weekend that she is going to have a BOY!! We will be first time grandparents this July and are very excited about it.
I’m sure most of you have heard that Lori’s PET scan we mentioned in the last email was NEGATIVE!! Hallelujah! This means that with the best detection methods available, that there is no evidence of Lori’s breast cancer spreading beyond the breast and her arm pit lymph nodes. We are VERY thankful to God for this result and it was wonderful to finally get some good news during this trial. I will share with you some of my thoughts during this particular milestone.
As I mentioned before, almost every step along the way before the PET scan had been bad news and was unexpected. The nipple change was very suspicious on breast MRI. The biopsy was positive for cancer. She would have to have a mastectomy. The Sentinel lymph node was positive. There were 7 out of 22 lymph nodes positive. Instead of only stage 1 or 2, like everyone thought, she turned out to be stage 3a Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer. During each of these steps we had high hopes that there would be a good result and there was not.
And so now comes the PET scan. It is a big jump to go from “locally advanced” Stage 3a breast cancer to Stage 4 which means distant metastasis. Stage 4 means breast cancer cells growing elsewhere in the body and is more serious. I have been literally wrestling with God through this. Tossing and turning in bed, waking at 3am. I can not tell you how much it tears me up to have to see my wife endure this disease. And with each bad report I have found myself asking God, “Really?? Is this what it’s going to be?” The key thing I realized and perhaps was meant to learn is that I am not in control, and that Lori and I needed to Trust God completely. I’m not used to this. Especially in the medical arena. I’m a physician. I’m used to being in control and telling others what to do.
The Bible story that came to me was the Abraham/Isaac moment when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. He had to get to a place where, with the knife raised above his son, he completely trusted God and was ready to follow through with the sacrifice. It was at that very moment that God provided a way out with a Ram caught in the thicket as a substitution sacrifice. Of course, that substitution for us was Jesus. Abraham was a believer in God and it was “credited to him as righteousness.”
Like Abraham, Lori and I were ready for a bad PET scan report and stage 4 disease. We truly were. We were ready to follow through with whatever sacrifices needed to be made. We prayed with earnestness like never before that God’s will be done and we would have to trust Him completely with what was to happen. We were ready, even if it was Stage 4. I believe God wanted to bring Lori and me to this place of total dependence. We now KNOW what that feels like. I’m not sure we did before. This got me to thinking about a few more steps down the line that might have happened. What if it was Stage 4? What if the prognosis turns bad? What if cancer takes my wife from me? Can I say that I truly trust God through each of these steps? Do I trust Him with what’s next even if I die? I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you can not avoid these questions when cancer is in your house.
Something that God blessed us with while we were waiting to hear the PET scan report is that our dear friends Read and Susie Vaughan “just happened” to be in the waiting room at the same time we were getting a routine scan. They have been following the updates and knew Lori’s situation. When we got the report of the negative scan, we all were in tears (Lori not so much because she was still loopy from the Ativan she was given to help her hold still during the scan.) We did a big group hug and prayed together in thanks for a good report. It was so wonderful to be able to share this with fellow believers and give God the glory together.
So, onward to the next phase. We met with Dr. Anderes the Oncologist on Thursday 3/14 and discussed treatment options. It is possible that the mastectomy and arm pit lymph node removal has gotten rid of the cancer. That certainly is our hope and prayer. But, there is significant risk that some cancer cells may have traveled elsewhere in Lori’s body but are too small to be detected. Because of this risk, her best chance of survival is to have chemotherapy, radiation therapy and anti-estrogen therapy. There is a window of opportunity to hit these cancer cells hard and give Lori the best chance of going into remission. It’s much easier to kill cancer cells at the microscopic stage than when they are larger, visible tumors. Therefore we have chosen an aggressive regimen. We are going to use the “AC, then T” protocol with Radiation therapy to follow and then Tamoxifen and possibly Herceptin. The A is Adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan. These will be administered every two weeks for 4 cycles for a total of 8 weeks. Then she will receive Taxol weekly for 12 more weeks for a total chemo time of 20 weeks. This is scheduled to begin the first week of April and so it will last till the end of August. This will be the most difficult time for Lori. She’s expected to lose all her hair. (I am having a particularly hard time with this. I love her beautiful, thick hair.) She will also be battling nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, and possibly mouth sores and bone pain. She will be heavily pre-medicated to try to minimize these side effects. Please keep her in your prayers during this time. We don’t know about the timing and duration of the Radiation yet but will keep you posted.
As I said, it is so wonderful to have so many people taking this journey with us. Our friend Mindi bought a bag of pink bracelets that say, “No One Fights Alone” and passed them out to whoever wanted to stand in solidarity with us. We do not feel alone. God is with us and He will save. We know there’s a Ram in the thicket for us somewhere. You all are with us and we are so thankful. God Bless, John and Lori
PS: Another meaningful verse for Lori as she goes into this next phase of treating the cancer:
…Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
