The 3rd Round

On April 29^th, Lori had her 3^rd round of chemo.  She is still on the “AC”: Adriamycin and Cytoxan.  She has had the most side effects with this round with some fatigue, slight nausea, body aches and feeling foggy, but overall still minimal symptoms.  For that, we are very grateful.  Lori has been keeping a log of her exercise.  She’s walked 70 miles since starting chemo a month ago.  The physical activity has definitely been helping.  Each morning, Lori and I have a devotion time together and pray specifically, in Jesus Name, that these drugs would find their intended target and kill any cancer cells there may be.  We also continue to be amazed by the overwhelming support and care shown to us by family and friends.  Everyday, there are cards, letters and gifts of one sort or another coming in the mail. Most of it is just little things, but they are so meaningful to us to know people are thinking about and praying for us.  It feels like we have settled into the Cancer Treatment routine now.  There are no new bits of information or surprises at this point.  We are in “hunker down” and “get through it” mode.  We are thankful for God’s goodness and how He has shown us good things, even in the midst of being treated for cancer.  Both Lori and I feel closer to God and to each other.  As someone who deals with a lot of anxious people in the ER, I am amazed at the lack of any sign of anxiety in Lori.  It is God’s Peace, for sure.  Especially in light of some recent events that I will discuss below. 

            As you know, the first day of Lori’s chemo was the day her dad died back in Cleveland.  We were able to attend the funeral and while it was sad to say goodbye to her dad, it was also a good family reunion.  We were able to re-connect with aunts, uncles and cousins.  Rachel, Drew and Ben were able to fly out for the funeral as well and so it was good family time all around.  Four weeks, to the day, after Lori’s first chemo and her dad’s passing, we got a phone call while Lori was getting her chemo infusion, that her mom, Betty who is 87, had a stroke.  It affected the left side of her brain causing some speech difficulty and weakness and tingling in her right arm and leg.  Betty currently is in the hospital and will need to go through stroke rehab.  As it stands right now, she will not be able to go back home and live independently as she had been, though we are praying for improvement to the point that she can. Betty’s stroke is even more sad for us because, she and Lori’s sister Diane were supposed to come to our house on May 11^th and spend time helping Lori get through this last part of the hard chemo.  Diane may come for a shorter time, but that is still up in the air. 

            It is difficult to take a step back and review all that has been going on in our lives the past 3 months.  These are normal life events and lots of people go through them.  It’s just hard and emotionally exhausting when it hits all at once.  I guess “shell shocked” is a way you could describe part of how we feel.  On the other hand, God has promised not to take us beyond what we can handle and we have found that promise to be true.  His Grace is sufficient.  I think when we look back on 2013, we will remember that this was the year that all our carefully laid out life plans got turned upside down.  It changes your perspective on what’s important.  If there are no further surprises, we think that by January of 2014, that Lori will be done with all the chemo, radiation and final reconstructive surgery.  We are looking forward to that day when all the treatment is done and the cancer is GONE. 

            As we’ve gone through Lori’s cancer treatment, I’ve had the unique opportunity as a physician to experience being on “the other side” of the medical equation.  We are now patient and patient’s family.  I really don’t want to pull the “I’m a doctor card” and try to get special treatment. Actually, we haven’t had to, everyone has been great. We realize that it’s still not quite the same though, since most everyone knows me from the hospital and we get a few perks here and there.  For instance, I was able to give Lori a medication shot at home in our kitchen.  That saved an hour of drive time for Lori. 

But, I’ve had the chance to sit, listen and watch as we go through this process.  On chemo day, we arrive at the oncology office, are taken back to the infusion room which has about 15 lazy boy type lounge chairs for the patients to sit in.  The nurse accesses the port on her chest by pushing the angled needle through the skin, into the port and starts hydrating with saline.  She then gives the pre-medications to prevent side effects and then the big guns: Adriamycin (which looks like red Kool-aid and turns your urine red for a day) and Cytoxan.  It all takes 5-6 hours to complete.  During that time, people wander in and out.  Spouses sit next to their loved ones.  Family and friends stop by to give encouragement or little gifts. Nurses frequently swing by to check how things are going or start the next medication. There really isn’t a sense of doom and gloom.  There’s lots of chatter and laughter.  It’s a good place.  It feels very inviting, like, come on in and sit for a while and shoot the breeze.  They have soup, sandwiches, cookies and other goodies and drinks in a refrigerator.  Lori calls it the Chemo Café.  Some people are reading, others, looking at their ipads. It’s kind of like a Starbucks. Instead of getting infused with caffeine, you’re getting chemo. 

What strikes me though, as I sit and observe, is the immediate connection that occurs between the cancer patients.   They don’t need introductions or preliminary small talk.  If you’re in the chair with a needle in your chest, you are a member of the Cancer Club.  With one look in the eyes, they KNOW what they each are going through without having to say anything.  And there is an immediate bond.  Especially the breast cancer women.  Not only is it the cancer in you body, but it’s attacking part of the very essence of what it means to be a woman.  Women who go through this seem to connect on some level that other women and certainly men can’t understand. I’ve also seen the understanding of Lori’s close friends who have had breast cancer:  Linda, Jan, Corri and Holly.  I would liken it to the Motherhood bond that women seem to have.  Of course, Lori being Lori, she talks to whoever is in ear shot and is able to give a run down on their life to me on the way home (daughter of Don Wolf).  But, I’ve seen her look across the room during a lull and lock eyes with someone she hasn’t met and there is an understanding with no words passed.  At the Alert Helicopter fundraising banquet last Saturday, Lori was introduced to a lady who also had breast cancer, had also lost all her hair and was wearing a scarf (Lori had on a wig). They hugged each other within the first 10 seconds and talked intensely for the next 20 minutes and hugged again at the end like sisters.  They ARE sisters with a bond forged out of a common, unique trial that they are enduring. They know what each other is going through. 

Throughout this experience, I am newly amazed at the Human Spirit and our ability and desire to reach beyond ourselves to help or encourage each other.  You don’t see this kind of behavior anywhere else in the natural world.  It is something that defines what it means to be Human:  The aspiration and capacity to unconditionally care about someone else. Cancer is bad.  But I have seen it bring out the best in people during Lori’s treatment.   And I am glad to get a chance to see what happens on a human level that I don’t normally get to see as I dispense medical advice and treatment and then move on to other patients.

Lori’s last AC treatment is on May 13^th and then it’s on to Taxol (on May 27^th) once a week for 12 weeks.  Thanks again for all your prayers and support and we’ll try to keep the blog updated.    Love,  Lori and John

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6