March 19 Update

Dear Family and Friends,

These email updates have sort of turned into a blog post on what’s been going on with Lori’s breast cancer.  I’ve even thought that maybe it would be better to find a website where I could post these updates so it would be easier to follow.  If anyone knows how to do this, I’d love to hear from you.  I’ve never done it before.  We are so appreciative of everyone’s thoughts, prayers and support.  It truly has made this process easier.  Lori has healed very well from the mastectomy and is essentially back to normal activity.  She is handling the whole process amazingly well and even injecting some humor.  I think humor is a Wolf family trait and it gives me confidence that she is going to do well.  We are also happy to report that our daughter Rachel is pregnant and we found last weekend that she is going to have a BOY!!  We will be first time grandparents this July and are very excited about it.  
         
I’m sure most of you have heard that Lori’s PET scan we mentioned in the last email was NEGATIVE!!  Hallelujah!  This means that with the best detection methods available, that there is no evidence of Lori’s breast cancer spreading beyond the breast and her arm pit lymph nodes.  We are VERY thankful to God for this result and it was wonderful to finally get some good news during this trial.  I will share with you some of my thoughts during this particular milestone. 

As I mentioned before, almost every step along the way before the PET scan had been bad news and was unexpected.  The nipple change was very suspicious on breast MRI.  The biopsy was positive for cancer.  She would have to have a mastectomy.  The Sentinel lymph node was positive.  There were 7 out of 22 lymph nodes positive.  Instead of only stage 1 or 2, like everyone thought, she turned out to be stage 3a Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer.  During each of these steps we had high hopes that there would be a good result and there was not.  

And so now comes the PET scan.  It is a big jump to go from “locally advanced” Stage 3a breast cancer to Stage 4 which means distant metastasis. Stage 4 means breast cancer cells growing elsewhere in the body and is more serious.  I have been literally wrestling with God through this.  Tossing and turning in bed, waking at 3am.   I can not tell you how much it tears me up to have to see my wife endure this disease.  And with each bad report I have found myself asking God, “Really??  Is this what it’s going to be?”  The key thing I realized and perhaps was meant to learn is that I am not in control, and that Lori and I needed to Trust God completely.  I’m not used to this.  Especially in the medical arena.  I’m a physician.  I’m used to being in control and telling others what to do.  

The Bible story that came to me was the Abraham/Isaac moment when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. He had to get to a place where, with the knife raised above his son, he completely trusted God and was ready to follow through with the sacrifice.  It was at that very moment that God provided a way out with a Ram caught in the thicket as a substitution sacrifice.  Of course, that substitution for us was Jesus.  Abraham was a believer in God and it was “credited to him as righteousness.”  

Like Abraham, Lori and I were ready for a bad PET scan report and stage 4 disease.  We truly were.  We were ready to follow through with whatever sacrifices needed to be made.  We prayed with earnestness like never before that God’s will be done and we would have to trust Him completely with what was to happen.  We were ready, even if it was Stage 4.  I believe God wanted to bring Lori and me to this place of total dependence.  We now KNOW what that feels like.  I’m not sure we did before.  This got me to thinking about a few more steps down the line that might have happened.  What if it was Stage 4?  What if the prognosis turns bad?  What if cancer takes my wife from me?  Can I say that I truly trust God through each of these steps?  Do I trust Him with what’s next even if I die?  I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you can not avoid these questions when cancer is in your house.  

Something that God blessed us with while we were waiting to hear the PET scan report is that our dear friends Read and Susie Vaughan “just happened” to be in the waiting room at the same time we were getting a routine scan.  They have been following the updates and knew Lori’s situation.  When we got the report of the negative scan, we all were in tears (Lori not so much because she was still loopy from the Ativan she was given to help her hold still during the scan.)  We did a big group hug and prayed together in thanks for a good report. It was so wonderful to be able to share this with fellow believers and give God the glory together. 

So, onward to the next phase.  We met with Dr. Anderes the Oncologist on Thursday 3/14 and discussed treatment options.  It is possible that the mastectomy and arm pit lymph node removal has gotten rid of the cancer.  That certainly is our hope and prayer.  But, there is significant risk that some cancer cells may have traveled elsewhere in Lori’s body but are too small to be detected.  Because of this risk, her best chance of survival is to have chemotherapy, radiation therapy and anti-estrogen therapy.  There is a window of opportunity to hit these cancer cells hard and give Lori the best chance of going into remission.  It’s much easier to kill cancer cells at the microscopic stage than when they are larger, visible tumors.  Therefore we have chosen an aggressive regimen.  We are going to use the “AC, then T” protocol with Radiation therapy to follow and then Tamoxifen and possibly Herceptin.  The A is Adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan.  These will be administered every two weeks for 4 cycles for a total of 8 weeks.  Then she will receive Taxol weekly for 12 more weeks for a total chemo time of 20 weeks.  This is scheduled to begin the first week of April and so it will last till the end of August.  This will be the most difficult time for Lori.  She’s expected to lose all her hair. (I am having a particularly hard time with this.  I love her beautiful, thick hair.) She will also be battling nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, and possibly mouth sores and bone pain.  She will be heavily pre-medicated to try to minimize these side effects.  Please keep her in your prayers during this time.  We don’t know about the timing and duration of the Radiation yet but will keep you posted. 

As I said, it is so wonderful to have so many people taking this journey with us.  Our friend Mindi bought a bag of pink bracelets that say, “No One Fights Alone” and passed them out to whoever wanted to stand in solidarity with us.  We do not feel alone.  God is with us and He will save.  We know there’s a Ram in the thicket for us somewhere.  You all are with us and we are so thankful.    God Bless,   John and Lori

PS: Another meaningful verse for Lori as she goes into this next phase of treating the cancer:  

…Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

February 26 Update

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, gifts, meals,  flowers, cards, letters, emails and texts. We are truly feeling overwhelmed by the love and support of you all.  It really has made a difference.  As you know, Lori had a mastectomy last week on 2/18.  She has recovered from that surgery well with no complications. She took two Rx pain pills at home and the rest of the time took Advil and Tylenol. She is a light weight when it comes to narcotics.  Today the surgeon removed her drains and everything looks good.  Well, not good, she’s still very black and blue but getting better.   

As we texted after the surgery, we were sad that the Sentinel lymph node was positive for cancer.  We have since learned from the final pathology report that she was positive for 7 out of 22 lymph nodes sampled.  This was some additional bad news.  Less than 4 nodes are prognostically better.  It means she is Stage 3A, otherwise known as locally advanced breast cancer.  The next step in staging is to get a PET scan which involves injecting radio-labeled glucose molecules into the blood stream and scanning the entire body.  Cancer cells use glucose faster than normal cells and so “light up” with the radio-labeled glucose.  If she has other areas of her body that “light up” on the scan, it means the cancer cells have spread or metastasized beyond the breast and she would be Stage 4, the last stage.  We are fervently praying and are asking all of you to continue to hold us up in prayer that the PET scan would be negative. 

As bad as this all sounds, there is still real hope in the treatment that is available.   Even Stage 4 breast cancer can be very treatable.  If she is stage 4, it has to be very early.  She has absolutely no symptoms to suggest any spread elsewhere.  She will have to endure aggressive chemotherapy and radiation therapy probably starting the beginning of April.  Hitting the cancer HARD initially will give her the best chance of knocking it into remission.  Unfortunately, she will probably lose her hair and have other side effects to deal with.  After that, she will take Tamoxifen which takes advantage of the Estrogen and Progesterone receptors on the cancer cells and this will starve them of the hormones they need to grow.  Lori’s surgeon said today that she really believes Lori will live to be 110 years old and die of something else. 

Honestly, never in our wildest dreams did we think, 2 month ago, that we’d be where we are right now.  That’s how quickly our lives have changed.  Almost every step along the way has been a series of disappointments. No one who has been involved in Lori’s case ever thought that it would be this advanced. But, that is the nature of Lobular Breast Cancer.  It grows undetected longer than Ductal breast cancer.  And yet, we still see God in this.  He is doing something in each of our lives and the lives of those around us.  One thing for sure is that we are being forced to Trust Him like never before. We are ready for Stage 4 if that is God’s Will.   And if you think about it, how many of us are really in control of our lives anyway?  None of us has a “right” to a trouble free life. The Bible says in Matthew 5:45 that God sends the sun and the rain on the just and the unjust alike.  We have had plenty of Sun in our lives.  Right now, it’s Raining.  We continue to believe that Good will come out of this. Lori and I both know in the depths our being that this life is not all that there is.  We Love you all and are so thankful for your continued concern and prayers.  
God Bless,  John and Lori

Lori’s Bible verse promise:  “Do not be afraid, stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today….The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Exodus 14:13,14

PS: Some have been asking me how I'm getting through this journey.  Your prayers.   God's Word.  Love being poured out from family and friends.   My taking time alone with God: talking to Him; God speaking to me. John and I have been praying and doing devotions together every morning and night.  We're using a few books by Sarah Young that you may like to check out:  "Jesus Calling"  and at night, "Jesus Today". (You can get them through Amazon - we picked them up at our local Costco!) The devotions are based entirely on scripture. We read  from "Jesus Calling"  this morning : February 27 ---"KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME!  Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up.  As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me.  Yet "I am with you always, holding you by your right hand." I am fully aware of your situation, "and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear."  Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow.  If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat.  You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today.  It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens.  Keep your focus on My Presence in the present."  Psalm 73:23    I   Corinthians 10:13

January 28 Update

Dear Family and Friends,

We have some news regarding Lori’s health and it is not good. Last month, we noticed there was a slight nipple retraction of her right breast. John ordered a mammogram and ultrasound a few days later and the result was normal. She saw the breast surgeon and no lumps were felt. However, because of the retraction, a breast MRI was ordered and it showed a suspicious mass. A subsequent needle biopsy was confirmed on Jan. 25th that she has Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer. We are shocked and saddened by this diagnosis. The best word to describe how we feel is that it’s “surreal”. It seems like this is happening to someone else, not us. We have had lots of tears and prayers together and have been lifted up by the few individuals that know. We know God has a plan in all of this, even if it’s hard to see right now. We are writing to you now, in faith, to ask for your support and prayers for what is coming.

The first request is that something was seen on her liver that looks like a benign cyst or hemangioma. We’ve been reassured that it does NOT look suspicious, but she is having a liver MRI on Wednesday to be sure. Please pray that it’s benign and that the cancer hasn’t spread beyond the breast.

We met with Dr. Hulvat the breast surgeon today and after discussion of various options, her treatment plan is going to initially be a skin sparing Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. If her lymph nodes are negative at the time of surgery and there is no evidence of spread, she shouldn’t need to have chemotherapy or radiation therapy. PLEASE pray that the nodes are negative and that the cancer has not spread. After that, she will go on Tamoxifen which will block further growth of any potential cancer cells that were missed.

We know that God has this situation under control and believe that He answers prayers. God has blessed us greatly and have really never found ourselves in a position to ask for help. We are asking you now to pray for us over the next few weeks. We need help and are trusting our friends and family to lift us up. We will keep you updated as best we can.

To God be the Glory,
John and Lori